TwiddlyBits' Sex Blog

In response to the account of my birthday festivities (specifically the part where I said "It was late & I had started my period earlier that day..., so we just snuggled for a little while, then went to bed"), Warrior Princess wrote:

I love sex when I have my period, it's grossly messy, but towel coverage can deal with that and it feels SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOD *shrug* To each his own.

Now, I didn't mean to imply that once my period gets here, all sexual activity is over. Far from it! Dangly & I seem to use it as an excuse to indulge in more anal and oral play (as if any excuse is needed!).

Regarding the subject, Dangly has always said, "*shrug* Skin washes" and seems blissfully unconcerned about stuff like that - a trait I cherish in him. We haven't engaged in any vaginal sex while I have my period (although, I have started my period once or twice during vaginal sex) simply because I don't really care for the mess - I tried it once back when I was 18 or 19 & really didn't care for it. As Warrior Princess said, "*shrug* To each his own."

Now, when I said "oral play" above, I wasn't just talking about sucking cock. I mean that Dangly goes down on me while I have my period. *chuckle* I remember the first time he did it. He was kissing his way down my belly and I thought, "He knows I have my period, so he'll stop before he gets there. ...Won't he? ...Oh god! He's not stopping! Oh, this feels SOO GOOOOD!!" LOL!

It's not really as gross as it sounds. You see, I don't use pads *or* tampons; I use a menstrual cup. The one I have is The Keeper, which I bought a number of years ago. It's made of a natural gum rubber which doesn't trigger my latex allergy (although it may for some people). Recently, a silicone version has been developed, called the Diva Cup, which shouldn't trigger anybody's latex allergy.

My Keeper works and works well! I have been using it since 1996 and have had very few leaks over the years. Not only that, but I've found that it doesn't irritate or dry out my delicate tissues like tampons always did. It always took me a day or two to "recover" from tampon usage before I was comfortable enough for any sexual activity; the Keeper lets my natural lubrication flow while holding my menstrual fluid. I even masturbate with vibrators while using the Keeper!

Dangly says that he can't even tell it's there unless he puts a finger in my vag (which he still does - my G spot is easily accessible).

So, going down on me while I'm on my period is really not that much different from going down on me any other time, thank goodness!

***

And speaking of my period, Dangly & I were glad that I had it this week (and it's over today) because we're visiting our friends A & S for the holiday weekend & wouldn't want to miss out on *anything*. We should have some good stories to tell when we get back!

So, today I have to do laundry and get packing, etc. Texas T-Bone sent me some interview questions which will have to wait until we get back before I answer them. They're pretty good questions, too, so that'll be fun! It has been interesting to see how this interview thing has gone around, but I agree with T-Bone; I asked to do this one, but don't want to do any more. Enough! :-)

Have a great weekend, everybody!

***

Oh, and if anybody's interested, this is a really fascinating site: The Museum of Menstruation and Women's Health

I want a pair of these! Ooh-la-la!

... and while I'm in aquire mode, how about some of these, too.

Ahh, my birthday weekend was heavenly!

When Dangly came home from work on Friday, he had with him a bouquet of carnations and lillies and a wonderfully romantic birthday card. I asked him why he was giving me these things on Friday since my birthday wasn't until Monday & he said, "When, between now and then, will I be away from you long enough to get them for you?" Good point. :-P I love the bouquet - 2 of the 3 lillies have opened and the 3rd might open today or tomorrow; lovely!! - and the card, too. *happy sigh*

Saturday was my birthday binge and that night I crashed so hard when I came down from the sugar high that I just fell asleep, exhausted.

Sunday night, we had some business to attend to, but that night, inspired by the new picture over at Newlywed Nympho, I encouraged Dangly to dress up in garter, hose & heels for me. (That pic really does look a lot like his ass & legs, mmmMMM!)

Anyway, after taking some hot pics of his ass, we started kissing and groping - I had to put my "fuck me shoes" (similar to these, but more "granola") on since his pumps made him even taller than he already is & it was uncomfortable standing on tiptoe to kiss him. I eventually ended up on my knees in front of him and freed his cock from his lacy panties and sucked it, being sure to cast glances up at him, smiling, so he could see how much I was enjoying myself. I ran my nails along his exposed thighs, along the garters, and raised my hands so I could play with his nipples, all the while slurping voraciously. He groaned loudly with pleasure and then held my head to fuck my mouth. (He later told me that that was the first time he'd ever fucked anybody's mouth. I've been encouraging him to do this for a while now! He's a sensitive sort and doesn't want to gag or hurt me. I told him I'd let him know if he did.) I let my hands rove about his body, tweaking and tickling and caressing him. It was obvious that he was enjoying himself immensely, but he did not come. Dangly doesn't always come from oral sex - in fact, I think it's only happened 5 times in the almost-3 years we've been together and he claims very few times before then, too - but he does always enjoy it while it lasts. It was late & I had started my period earlier that day (hey, it wouldn't be my birthday if I didn't have my period! *mutter*), so we just snuggled for a little while, then went to bed.

The next day, Dangly took the day off of work to spend it with me. :-) We slept in, then headed out for breakfast and the beach! This particular beach is our favorite. It's clothing-optional and set off in a nice cove, so it's protected somewhat from wind. We took the approx 175 stair-steps to get down to the beach, then Dangly wanted to go all the way over to the far end, so we trekked across the sand. Finally, we arrived at our final destination and set up camp. We rolled out our towels and chucked our clothes, then Dangly sprayed his front half with sunscreen, then sprayed my back. I sprayed his back and we settled down for some ogling. There were several handsome men out that day and I made no secret that I was looking at them appreciatively. There were not many women out - although one did happen along not long before we left. We spent maybe 2 hours sitting in the sun, enjoying the cool sea breeze kissing our bodies. Beautiful day, nary a cloud in the sky. There was a guy with a Surf Skimmer. I really wanted to go see if he'd let me try it, but I'm far too shy for that.... Anyway, after a couple of hours, we got dressed, packed up & headed home. Despite the sunscreen, we both seem to have gotten a little crispy, but not terribly so. We showered and changed, then had dinner & settled down for a quiet evening at home.

About 9:00pm, I went into the bedroom and set up the chair directly in front of the armoire mirror, draped a towel on the chair, and got out the Astroglide. I retrieved my husband from the living room and got him to sit in the chair where we tried out a variation on the chair sex that Dangly blogged about a few days ago. This time, rather than just sitting on his lap with my feet up while he twiddled my bits, I lubed up his cock nice and slippery and slid it into my ass, easing down until it was in all the way and I could lean back with my feet propped on either side of the mirror while Dangly tickled my clit with one hand and my nipples with the other, kissing my neck and breathing into my ear. I was in hedonistic heaven!! I gyrated my hips around to give him (and me!) as much motion as possible, stopping only when my body was seized with shuddering orgasms. I alternated between feet up beside the mirror and feet on the floor, which gave me more control over the motion, and almost literally swooned in ecstasy. After several orgams, I told Dangly that I wanted him to come, too, so, still coupled, we stood up from the chair and went over to the bed where he proceeded to pound into me - bringing me to orgasm another 2 or 3 times - before coming himself with a great moan and shudder. He bent over to kiss the back of my neck one more time before separating. We cuddled & played more in the shower, then went to bed.

I love birthdays!

Dangly & I had an interesting conversation in the shower this morning. We got out of bed late and were planning on leaving the house right after the shower to go get started on my "birthday binge" [1].

In the shower, I was feeling playful and was tweaking his nipples. He pulled away whenever I would do that, so I finally asked what was up with that.

DanglyBits says:
Well, it's like this.... I knew we were going to be leaving the house right away so I really didn't want to get all hot and bothered right then. It seems that for me, when it's direct stimulation and the resulting arousal, it's not fun or pleasurable unless something's going to happen. On the other hand, if it's incidental arousal such as what happens when TwiddlyBits kisses me good-bye when I go off to work, it's quite different. It feels nice to know that she loves me enough to to see me off at the door dressed in her skin and likes me to give her a thorough groping while kissing her. I get turned on by the whole thing and that's cool. I go to work knowing that I'm loved and that there's a really good chance she's going to meet me at the door after work in much the same state of undress. It's all cool unless she starts playing with my nipples and/or dangly bits. Then I find it uncomfortable. As I said in the shower this morning, it's not much fun getting in the car to go to work with a hard-on. But then, if we engage in our usual morning grope, I still end up with a hard-on, so what's the difference? It's got to be psychological, the difference between incidental and intentional stimulation. Dunno. Maybe I just need to chill and enjoy the attention she gives me no matter when or where it happens....

Whereas for me, I find the state of arousal itself to be a worthy goal. I enjoy that warm and fuzzy feeling I get inside when Dangly caresses me, kisses me, gropes my ass. That feeling makes me feel cherished and loved all day. I especially enjoy it when he kisses me hot enough to make my pussy throb. Now, granted, since I work mostly at home, I am often able to go take care of that throbbing - something he can't do at work - but even if I don't have that opportunity, I enjoy the state of arousal itself.

What do you think? Is arousal more "goal-oriented" for men than it is for women? Do men only enjoy arousal if it means that it will culminate in sex of some kind? Can men enjoy the same warm, fuzzy feeling that I described above?

We'd love to hear from you - both men & women (please let us know which you are if your nickname doesn't make it obvious!). Let us know what you think about this.


[1] I've been on the Atkins Plan since mid-June & have lost 20+ pounds so far. Since Monday is my birthday, we decided that today could be my "binge day" - the day when there is no diet & I can have pizza and ice cream!

I've had a BlogRoll account for a while now, but finally got a round tuit and put all my "Favorite Sex Blog" links in it. I've got it displaying over in the left-hand nav panel, but I'd like it to be a bulleted list. Can anybody help me with that?

(The BlogRoll guy is moving cross-country at the moment, so he's not answering any support emails yet.)

Please either email me or comment to this post if you can help me.

THANKS!

Yesterday, I was helping a teacher friend of mine decorate her classroom (school starts next week). We were hanging posters and other assorted decorations on all the walls.

I was standing on a small table to hang some decorative border along one wall. There was a chair alongside it which I was using as a step-stool to get onto and off of the table. I took a step toward the chair and must have had my weight in just the wrong place because the table tipped over, the chair went flying and I landed, straddling the edge of the table.

*whimper*

I had to sit with ice in my crotch for a while (which was actually pretty refreshing on a hot summer's afternoon).

Fortunately, I seem to have landed so that my weight was on the back half of my slit rather than the front, so there wasn't any damage or pain on my labia, clit, piercing, or other ultra-tender bits. I am a bit sore today on the parts of me that touch the chair when I sit, but other than that, I appear to have escaped serious injury.

Still -- I was pretty thankful I'm not a guy....

I took the Sexperience Quiz over at Libida today. My results:

Slut for All Seasons: "You say I'm a slut like it's a bad thing," is your oft-repeated retort. You take pride in your sexually adventurous nature. Usually the first one in your group to try a new sex toy or position, and the last to come up for air. People find you to be open about what you've done, whom you've done it with, and how good it was. Although your sexual openness and prowess can be intimidating to potential partners, you usually figure if they can't handle you they're not worth it anyway. You have discriminating tastes but are game for any sexual challenge. With your arsenal of sex toys and videos you're always able to satisfy yourself.

That's pretty close to being right. As I said when Married But Lonely interviewed me, due to the nature of my job, I am not able to be 100% open in my daily life about my sexual adventures - that's one of the reasons I started this blog. However, with close friends, I am open -- and you never know when a "close friend" will become a "play partner"! :-)

***

On a another note, I will say that a part of me still have trouble with the word "slut". I know, I know that it's the "in thing" nowadays to "reclaim" the word, thereby being empowered as a sex-positive woman who isn't ashamed of enjoying sex. *sigh* I have no problem with other people who have claimed the word (and other, similar, words) for themselves. Am I just being a fuddy-duddy?

***

I had to chuckle when I saw this article. I do a fair bit of travelling by air for my job and have wondered about the practicality of taking toys with me.

I know what you're thinking, "Travel with sex toys? You've got to be kidding! Why risk the embarrassment factor during these days of heightened security?" Well I can give you plenty of good reasons to send that vibrator or dildo right on through the X-ray machine.

Perhaps I'll try it the next time I'm travelling alone....

I saunter into the living room wearing nothing but my powder blue bra and string thong panties. As I enter the room, my husband looks up at me, sheer delight showing on his face. He reaches for the remote control and turns off the television. He scoots over on the couch and beckons for me to sit next to him. I kneel on the couch, facing him, my hands resting on his shoulders. We kiss, lightly at first, then more passionately as the heat between us builds. He caresses my thighs, my hips, my waist, my breasts, tweaking my nipples ever so gently through the material of my bra.

We break apart and I stand up, holding out my hand to him, and lead him into the bedroom. He sits on the bed embracing me as I stand alongside, his head at the perfect height to nuzzle between my breasts. He slides the straps of my bra off of my shoulders and reaches around to release the clasps. The bra is trapped between us, neither on nor off, until we separate just enough for him to take it and throw it aside. He cups my now exposed breasts in his hands and lightly circles one of my nipples with his tongue. I moan in pleasure and he takes that as his signal to engulf it with the warmth of his mouth, his tongue still dancing as I feel the sparks and tingles he is igniting in my ever more wet pussy. He does not neglect my other side, repeating his ministrations while maintaining the sensation on the first nipple with his gentle fingers.

Slowly his hands slide down my body to my thong. He hooks his thumbs into the strings and pulls them down past my hips, past my thighs until they fall on their own accord to puddle at my feet. I gingerly step out of them and kick the thong to the side.

Stepping back, I grasp the bottom of his shirt and raise it over his head, then push him back onto the bed and begin to undo his pants. As I pull them down past his hips, I see his cock straining against the fabric of his panties and the wet spot he has already produced in them from his arousal.

I climb onto the bed, straddling him at first, then easing myself down so that I am laying between his legs, my head at mid-chest level, my fingers lightly touching his nipples. His eyes roll back in his head in pleasure as I play with them. I gently begin to lick his chest in small feather touches, sometimes flicking his nipples with my tongue and other times touching every place but there. I slowly move down his body, my tongue playfully darting this way and that, as his breathing becomes more erratic and his moans more frequent.

I pause at his pelvis, my tongue playing with the area above his bush, dancing along the tender area between legs and hips, teasing the inside of his thighs. All the while, his cock is silently urging me to free it from its restraint. I comply, and slowly slide his panties down, off his hips, down his legs and discard them onto the floor. His penis seems to wait, expectantly, so I lightly kiss it in passing as I glide back up his body and finally kiss his lips before sliding off of his body and pulling him to lay alongside of me.

His hands slide down my body to my hot and dripping pussy. His tongue again dances with my nipples as his fingers tease my slit and I revel in the sensations exploding within me. He moves down my body, adoring every inch of me, until he positions himself between my legs, his arms under my hips, his hands intertwined on my mound. His tongue gently probes into the opening of my pussy as I moan and writhe in his grasp, pushing my pussy into his face. He laps at me, swirling his tongue around between my labia and around my clit and into my vag until I am almost literally seeing stars. As I soar higher and higher, he reaches up to tweak my nipples, knowing that as my arousal grows, my nipples enjoy being squeezed harder and harder, verging just on the edge, that sweet plane of existence between pleasure and pain where the senses are heightened like at no other place or time.

I groan as I grasp his head with my hands, my fingers weaving into his hair, holding him to me, my legs clench and straighten as my whole body shudders with a bone-wracking orgasm that seems to last forever.

As I release, he looks at me over my mound, satisfaction evident on his face. I hold out my arms to him, asking him to come into my embrace. He asks, "Are you sure?" as his face dips down again into my freely flowing juices. I lose myself again and don't answer in words. I then ask, "Can I sit on your face?" He agrees, and we disengage. He positions himself on the bed so that I can straddle his face, his chin at my vag, his mouth surrounding my clit. I enjoy it this way because I can ride his face and gyrate my hips and grind into his chin while holding onto the headboard and throwing my head back in utter enjoyment. His hands are free to roam my body, stroking and caressing me.

I lift off of his face and slide down so that my pussy is over his cock. I rub his cockhead along my dripping pussy, teasing it before finally sliding it into my eager hole. His sharp intake of breath indicates his pleasure as I ride his pole, my clit tingling with the sensation of sliding up and down his shaft. I shudder in orgasm, then increase my pace. His hands hold my hips, guiding me. I stop and ask if we can move to the chair. He agrees, we again separate as I point at the chair, breathlessly indicating that he should sit NOW. He sits, I straddle him and plunge his rock-hard cock into me.

The chair allows me to rock my hips back and forth, my clit in the perfect position to give me maximum sensation, maximum pleasure, while my breasts are in the perfect place for him to suck and gently bite my nipples. I hold him around the neck and shoulders, pressing him to me. I orgasm several times in this position, as always, before thinking, "Pick me up and take me to the bed." I am just about to open my mouth to voice my request when he picks me up and places me on the corner of the bed, his shaft buried to the hilt in my hot snatch. His thrusts come in quick succession as he gazes at my face, watching me come and come again, my eyes rolling back in my head, my body tightening in the grip of orgasms great and small.

I watch his chest begin to flush, his face begin to cloud, his eyes lose focus, his chin clench as he nears his own orgasm. He loses himself and plunges into me, convulsing with the power of his climax, his cock pulsing against my clit and against my G-spot. I cannot help myself, I hold him tightly, another orgasm wracking my body as I cry out in ecstasy and buck under him.

Slowly, we come down out of the clouds, kissing and nuzzling and affirming our love for one another. He gently strokes my face while telling me I am beautiful. I idly play with his hair as I tell him that he is my soulmate, my heart's true companion.

We spend several moments like this before disassembling our union and getting ready for bed. As we rejoin under the covers, we cuddle and snuggle as we drift gently off to sleep.

I've been promising to tell all of you about the happenings on my recent business trip. I haven't forgotten, I've just been formulating my thoughts & have been wondering where to start. So, last night while Dangly was shaving me, I decided that you need the back-story, so here it is:

The Back Story

2 summers ago, about a month after Dangly & I were married, I went on a business trip for a week. I was going to be rooming with M, a woman that I'd only met via email. We got along great and had a wonderful time hanging out during the conference and socializing. We went out with one of her male friends who was also attending the conference, had some wine and teased him unmercifully over dinner, poor guy. She was also the first person I told about my piercing.

I thought I sensed some sexual tension between us, but being the highly-sexed individual I am, I thought I might have been imagining it.

More on that later....

Anyway, when I got home, the very first thing Dangly did was pick me up & carry me into the bedroom where he proceeded to undress me and bury his face in my pussy. What a homecoming! *grin* After I came all over his face, we cuddled and he asked me how my trip had been. I told him all about M and how much I liked her.

He asked, "Did you play?"

I stopped dead in my tracks, speechless. Dangly & I hadn't discussed any sort of "open" arrangement in our marriage or anything, so he caught me completely by surprise.

I answered, hesitantly, "Um, no. Why do you ask?" and we proceeded to have a discussion, the end result of which was a set of "rules" by which we'd agreed to conduct ourselves in our possible future sexual relations with people outside of our marriage. We had no firm plans, but we were opening ourselves up to the possibility - the results of which you see in this blog.

Of course, these "rules" have since evolved, but that's ok - relationships evolve & grow & that's A Good Thing.

Flash Forward to the Present

M was at this conference, too, although we didn't room together this time. One night, she & I went out to dinner with one of her female companions (who ended up being the Designated Driver for the evening). I had a couple of beers & so did she (plus a couple of margaritas). After dinner, her friend had to run an errand, so she & I went to a bar & each had another beer & talked about things. I ended up telling her about this blog & some of the things it contains. She said that she could see herself being with someone like me, but wasn't so sure about being with another man (she is also married).

After her friend got back from the errand, the 3 of us plus another female friend went to another bar. Man, the bouncers were HOT! I found out their names from another bar employee while waiting in line for the bathroom. Teddy & Roger. Teddy, especially, had SUCH a nice ass! I wanted to just squeeze it over and over again. Of course, I took every opportunity to go outside and talk to them and compliment them on their physiques and tell them about all the naughty things I wanted to do to them. They didn't get off work until 3:00am, though, which was too late for me since I had to be up at 7:00am, but I told them that if I hadn't been rooming with 3 other ladies, they'd *BOTH* have been coming home with me - and think of the Penthouse Letters they could have written! LOL!

But I digress....

At one point, our 2 party companions had to run another errand, leaving M & me alone together. Now, we were not in a booth or hidden in any way. We had the front table, by the door (hence my easy access to Teddy & Roger!), in front of the big front windows, practically rubbing elbows with the tables around us.

The music was loud, so we had to lean in close to each other to carry on a conversation. M pressed her forehead to mine & nuzzled me, then kissed me. (So, I guess I wasn't imagining the sexual tension last time, huh?) I returned the kiss and she asked, "Why didn't we do this a long time ago?" I chuckled and kissed her again, placing my hand on her thigh. She took my hand and put it up her skirt, between her legs, on her pussy - she wasn't wearing any panties. I fingered her a little and stroked the insides of her thighs and up under her shirt to her breasts, tweaking her nipple before letting my hand fall back to her pussy and fingering her some more.

She asked me what it was like to be with a woman. I told her that women are snuggly, soft and warm, and wonderful to be with.

Whenever the door would open, we'd turn our heads to look out and grin at Teddy & Roger -- I'm sure they were getting *quite* a show!

We carried on this way for a good while, then broke apart when our friends returned. A few more beers later and we decided to all call it a night. I said my good-byes to Teddy & Roger and we left.

They drove me back to my room - sort of a 4 bedroom 2-story townhouse on the campus where the conference was held (M was staying with friends off-campus) - and M came inside "just to see the place". After greeting my roommates downstairs, M & I headed up to my bedroom where she quickly closed the door & threw herself down on my bed, holding me to her and kissing me. I caressed her breasts and touched her thighs and had my fingers in her dripping wet pussy and was about to head south when one of my roommates (who is an acquaintance of M) called up to her to ask her a question.

So, we decided to break it up - besides our other 2 friends were still waiting for her in the car! - but I made sure to look her straight in the eyes while licking her sweet juices off of my fingers. She looked like she was going to melt when I did that!

We went downstairs, I showed her to the door, then chatted a bit with my roommates before having a shower (to wash off the smell of smoke from the bar) and heading off to bed to masturbate. I had to relieve the tension somehow! We'd been *so close*!! I just know she'd have creamed all over my face if I'd gone down on her - I really think she would have enjoyed that.

Unfortunately, we had no other opportunities to finish our "business" for the rest of the conference. I can only hope that we see each other again soon at another event and don't have to wait another 2 years for the next conference.

Just wanted to make mention of a few things:

1. I've updated the description of this blog to include the fact that DanglyBits seems to be a regular contributor. I guess that makes this a sort of "team blog". Interesting the way this is evolving....
2. I've added a Cast of Characters link to the left-hand nav panel to help keep all the pseudonyms straight.
3. Do keep checking the nav panel from time to time as I keep adding stuff to it as I find more things.

Shedragon over at the Open Directory Project has linked to this blog in her list of Adult Journals. The list is contains "Online journals and weblogs which have adult themes or content. Must have dated entries to be a journal or blog, anything else is just personal writing."

Cool! I'm looking forward to perusing some of the listees over the next few days.

side note: notice how Bacchus' ErosBlog has got the prime listing! Way to go, Bacchus! *Hugs*

I gave myself an incredible orgasm this morning!

I love masturbating, whether with toys or without, and do it every chance I get. I've already written about my 2 new toys (which are quickly becoming my favorites!). This morning, I used both of them, plus another - the first vibe I ever bought. It's a waterproof pink jelly vibe that I bought after Dangly's first visit with me. I call it my Pink Pal. (I wanted to practice some techniques, so bought a toy that closely approximated his length & girth.) Waterproof? Ha! It gurgled for a few days after I first took it into the shower with me, and then the vibe quit entirely, but it still makes a great dildo, so I've kept it.

Anyway, I had the Crystal Jelly Vibe in my pussy, buzzing at high speed, and the G Candy vibe (also on the highest setting) nestled such that the tip was right at the opening to my vag and the shaft laid along my pussy, touching my labia and clit, when I got out my Pink Pal, lubed him up and put him in my ass. I squeezed my legs together to hold the 2 vibes in the right place, then used my hands to thrust the dildo in and out of my ass, until I came with a strong shudder, groaning in pleasure until I fell back into the bed, exhausted.

I waited a moment before turning off the vibes, just enjoying the contractions of my ass and pussy around the toys. Slowly, I removed each toy, placed them on the "toy tray" (I have a plastic shoe box that I keep my toys in. The lid makes an excellent tray to hold the ones I'm currently using as well as a great place to put some lube (into which I dip the toys) so that I don't have to fuck around with the bottles in the middle of playing.), then took a short nap before getting up and cleaning myself & the toys.

*happy sigh*


ps.
I'm going to have to remember this wonderful line from Cat Nastey:

"I'm not mentally unbalanced because I enjoy sex."

Vene, who has a Venezuelan sex blog, has joined the Bloggin' Bitch as a resident blogger.

Vene writes:

We need, sex blogs. Everywhere. We need them so we can open the world's eyes, towards sex, and erotism. It is why the world turns, why the sun shines, and darkness exists. Sex, passion, foreplay. They are basic needs.

I agree 100% with that & look forward to reading more of his writing!

Married But Lonely posted a response to 5 interview questions that Sophia asked him. As part of the agreement, he asked if others wanted to be interviewed by him. I replied & here are the questions that he asked me and my answers:

1. Due to the anonymous nature of our blogs, we tend to let it all hang out. So I'll ask you the same question I asked Sophia. Describe how your "everyday" persona varies from the one who writes in your blog.

As far as my "voice" and style goes, my IRL persona is pretty close to my on-line one. I've always managed to project the "real me" on-line, but it's only been since my marriage to Dangly that my IRL persona has started to be the "real me", too. My first marriage was characterized by the squashing of my personality. I became mousy and "librarianesque" and emotionally restricted. Dangly lets me be *me*, so I am free to express myself & my personality has opened up as a result.

Now, because of the nature of my job, I can't talk about my sexual adventures in public - that's why my blog is anonymous. I do have to hide some aspects of my personality in my everyday life. But, my close friends know me for who and what I am and love me. So, I am able to tolerate that small amount of "hiding" myself because I know that with the people who I care for, I can truly be myself.

2. Describe the circumstances under which you first discovered that DanglyBits was a cross-dresser. What was your reaction?

Good question! Dangly & I met at a business conference in a state far from both of our homes. After returning home, we continued our developing relationship via email. Very early it was apparent that we were falling in love and Dangly decided that he needed to tell me about his TV-ism right away rather than either hiding it from me (which too many TVs do) or wait to tell me until it was "too late". It was at a point that, if I had been unable to take the news, we could have broken off our relationship without having invested too much emotional energy into it. In his email he asked if I had noticed that both of his ears were pierced (I had) and that when people asked him about it, his standard response was "I got tired of wearing clip-ons." (This is usually said with an edge of sarcasm, so people take it as a joke, but it's the truth.) He then told me that he is a transvestite. At first, I was a bit confused. I was unsure whether my new friend was genetically a man who wears women's clothing, or vice versa! So, after getting that straightened out, I thought about it for a little bit (just a few hours) and reflected that, in the course of our conversations, I had discovered a man who understood my soul and who connected with me in ways that I had never dreamt possible. Then he tells me that he likes to wear women's clothing. He had been a TV all along, I was just unaware of it. So, what did this revelation really change? I realized that it changed nothing. I told him that I wanted to continue our relationship, but that I had questions. He told me he'd answer any questions I had, and he did. Over the course of time, I've come to cherish his feminine side. As he wrote in the blog, it's like having a girlfriend, husband and lover all in one package. He understands the way I think, the way I feel, the way I *am*. I can ask him about clothing, hair & make-up and know that he is knowledgeable and interested in it, yet he is still a "car guy" who likes hotrods. We can giggle together like girls, yet he can sweep me in his arms and carry me off to the bedroom and be "the man" in bed when that's what I need.

This is not to say that I "tolerate" his cross-dressing simply so I can have a sensitive & understanding husband. Quite the contrary! I simply adore my husband. I've discovered that marriage is about giving the other person as many opportunities as possible to be able to express his full personality however he wants to. Unfortunately, our society looks askance at people who don't follow the rigid gender roles. It seems to me that the transgendered community is one of the last groups that it's still socially acceptable to openly mock and ridicule. *sad sigh* Still, I want our home to be a safe haven for Dangly so that he's comfortable being himself, even when he's being "herself".

And what was the first outfit he wore for you?

About 2 months after we met, Dangly came to visit me and brought some of his femme attire. He is actually quite good at picking out clothing that suits his figure (he is tall and thin), rather than dressing like a prostitute, which is what a lot of TVs end up doing. (Mostly because they aren't given an outlet for their TVism and so never learn how to dress like a "real" woman.)

He wore big, dangly earrings, a nice white shirt with a light flower print, and a long denim strapped dress with some low heels. Under that, he had pantyhose, panties, and bra (with the tits he was fixing the other day), as well as padding for his hips and a waste cincher. I spent the day totally nude and we ended up in bed, him eating me out, his earrings brushing my thighs. It was the first time he'd ever made love with a woman while "dressed" - and it was the first time I'd ever been with a cross-dressed man, too.

I'll also answer an unasked question and say that nowadays, a few years into our relationship, Dangly sleeps in a silky nightgown every night. He wears panties every day and most of his everyday clothes is "womens clothing", even though most people don't realize it. He likes to wear bras when he can (mostly at home &/or on the weekends) and has women's slippers that he wears around the house. He does have some lingerie - some of which I have bought for him - and I enjoy it when he wears it. I think it's important to make the distinction that this is *not* a fetish in the sense that he needs women's clothing to function in a sexual manner; it really has nothing (or very little) to do with sexuality. It is just simply an aspect of his personality.

3. Would you describe yourself as the dominant or submissive in your relationship, or is it not that simple? How do those sex roles figure into your everyday marriage as a whole, or do they?

That's a tough one. I'm not sure we have such clearly defined roles. I've already mentioned that I appreciate Dangly's feminine side. I've always been an agressive lover, in that I'm not afraid to make the first move or flat out ask for what I want. Dangly has no problem letting me be the "dominant" one in that case (and that has no bearing on sexual positions -- I can be "dominant" and still be on the bottom). He likes to feel cherished and protected sometimes, too. OTOH, sometimes I am the one who is feeling all feminine and shy and want to be wooed and romanced, and I think because I allow him to be fully himself, he has no problem stepping into the dominant role himself from time to time. If I had to chart it, I'd say that as far as sex goes, I'm probably the agressor 75-80% of the time, which suits us both fine. For other things, I think we're pretty evenly matched. We are each capable of making everyday decisions on our own, yet consult with each other for all major decisions. Neither of us has "the final say-so". Of course, it helps that we think so much alike, too.

DanglyBits once said to me, "I think we have the same mix of yin and yang as other couples do, it's just distributed a little differently."

4. You get to plan the perfect sex related experience. Describe it.

*chuckle* I think I live that experience every day! :-) Seriously, I am so happy with my relationship with Dangly that I really can't imagine anything more perfect than our life together. He goes out of his way to help me realize my fantasies and desires. I still have a couple of fantasies that haven't been fulfilled yet, but he's willing to help me do so when the opportunity arises. I know this sounds like a cop-out, but it really isn't....

5. Do you and DanglyBits plan on having kids one day? If so, do you think that you'll be able to keep up your "alternative lifestyles" while parenting?

This is actually an easy question to answer. Dangly & I do not plan to have children. I have had a Tubal Ligation. Some people think that's selfish of me/us, but we don't think so. Here's why: I have very specific opinions about how children should be raised and I am simply not willing to make the sacrifices that I think are necessary to do so. If I'm not willing to make those sacrifices, why bring a child into the world? I'd only end up resenting the child and that's not fair to either of us. So, we intend to remain blessedly child-free.

Rules

1. Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2. I will respond; I'll ask you five questions. (Give me a link to your blog so I can make the questions relevant to *you*.)
3. You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4. You'll include this explanation.
5. You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.

I knew that Tienda del Sexo was going to stop being updated -- she had announced that there would be a last post -- but I didn't realize that she'd take the whole site down! It was a great site and I'm sad to see it gone. Why not just leave it up so we could enjoy the archives? *sad sigh*

[ps. Since it no longer works, I've removed the link from my sidebar.]
[update: I've also added a link to Kinky Bits (who is no relation to me) - enjoy!]

I'm back a day early from my business trip & have "things" to tell, but first I wanted to share some neat, but odd, news.

I posted earlier that this blog had gotten a mention over at Adult Backwash. Well, today I got an email telling me:

Congratulations! Content from your site has made it into this week's Backwash Weekly Top 40, a chart that tracks the week's most popular Internet content as determined by the Internet community.

Yay! But, when I investigated the links, I found that not only was this blog listed at #28 on the "Weekly Top 40" and #22 on the "Daily Top 25", but it was *also* listed as #21 on the "Worst 25" list. WTF? There was lots of crossover between the "Top" and "Worst" lists, so I guess I don't feel like they were picking on me, but it is kind of strange, isn't it?

So, now I'm going to go shave my legs for my wonderful, cuddly husband and then hopefully get to play with the FeelDoe tonight!!

But, I promise not to forget that I have to tell you about my business trip....

Between the BlogSpot Plus25 upgrade process being "under maintenance", packing for my trip, and trying to transfer files from my computer to the server, I'm getting frustrated about time management.

So, I thought I'd just chill out a moment and write about the 8th & final night that H & W were here visiting us.

That day, the 4 of us went up to a regional park and strolled along the paths in the cool shade under the towering trees. Despite all the people, it was serene and peaceful. We stopped in at a nice restaurant for a late-lunch/early-dinner at a nice pub and then H, W & I caught cat-naps on the drive home (poor P! he never gets to nap!). Once home, H & W decided they needed a little more rest, so after we all got into comfortable states of either semi- or completely nudity, they sacked out on the living room floor (air mattress) and P & I went into the bedroom to read. After a while, W got up and joined us and I showed her some of the nice silky things in my closet and we all chatted about this-and-that. Somewhat later, H came in, too, feeling somewhat refreshed, and we snuggled and chatted some more. Eventually, we ended up with W snuggling with P while I snuggled with H. H went and got us all some drinks (beer & wine), P turned on the stereo, and we settled in.

Soon, H & I were making out & I was nibbling on his ears and caressing his shoulders while P was heading south with W. To the increasing sounds of W's obvious pleasure, I climbed onto H's cock and kept up a whispered running monologue in his ear, encouraging him to watch W writhe and listen to her moan and think about what P was doing with his tongue and oh, doesn't it sound like she's enjoying herself *so much*? Look at her legs shake! Meanwhile, I was also counting my orgasms for him and telling him how much *I* was enjoying myself, too. After about 13 or so orgasms on my part, H leaned forward, pushing me over onto my back. I completely lost track of what P & W were doing over there because I was just having too much fun! He pounded into me while I hung on and had another 3 or 5 orgasms until finally we came. We snuggled together for a moment while P & W finished up, then H sat up again & leaned over & kissed W. I remained where I was, with my legs more-or-less around his waist and my back between his knees. P sat up and leaned over to kiss me, too. Happy, happy!

More chat, then H & W headed off to go pack their things for their flight home the next morning.

The story's not *quite* over yet, though, because while they were in the living room packing, P & I snuggled and giggled and talked about what we'd been doing all week. Apparently, my husband got quite turned on by that because in almost no time, he encouraged me to climb onto him and I worked my hips, sliding my wet pussy up and down over his big hard cock, all the while telling him about what I'd just done with H and what I'd seen him do with W, until finally he groaned loudly and came convulsively in my pussy.

Ah, married bliss....

Wow, I never expected my blog to be quite so popular! I know some visitors have had issues with the pictures over in the left-side panel (yes! there are supposed to be pictures there!), but here I thought it was because of my inexperience with (and subsequent incompetence in) CSS. NO! It's because I've exceeded my bandwidth allowance at villagephotos.com (Thank you, Katia!)! So, I am in the process of upgrading to a BlogSpot Plus25 account. (This will have the added advantage of getting rid of the advertisements up at the top of the page, BTW.) However, right at the moment, the BlogSpot upgrade process is "undergoing maintenance" *sigh* so I'll upgrade as soon as they let me. Meanwhile, if anybody would like to send a donation to help defray the cost of the upgrade, I've put a PayPal button over in the left pane.

Also, as soon as that's all taken care of, I will write up the promised "8th and final night"!

While you're waiting for that, take a look over at Adult Backwash where SpiritoftheNight (A sweet girl who likes to do wicked things. A wallflower in disguise.) has linked to me in her Bait & Switch column. She seems like a really interesting person & I'm looking forward to reading her archives!

Bacchus posted a link to a very well-written article at Gut Rumbles which talked about shaving a woman's nether regions with an electric razor. I posted comments there, but thought I'd mention it here, too.

Personally, I use a Remington PG-200, which is a small-sized beard trimmer. It's got all kinds of diferent attachments, so you can choose the right tool for all the jobs that shaving down there entail. My husband shaves me, which we find to be really intimate, and we both agree that it's much easier and less irritating to use an electric than a regular wet razor. (Plus, the shaver vibrates in a most delightful way, which my husband capitalizes on, to good effect!)

I suffer from ingrown hairs, too, so I use a product called Bump Stopper which is found with the "Ethnic" hair care products. I see that now they've got it For Ladies, too!

*sigh* For those of you who tuned in this morning to the formatting mess, I'd like to apologize. As I stated previously, I have been tweaking my template and last night's final tweak had some unintended (and un-noticed until this morning, dammit! (thank you, MCR!)) consequences. I am still learning this CSS stuff and so sometimes shit happens. :-( At any rate, that particular problem seems to be fixed now. I'll try not to fuck up the formatting any more.

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow -- I'll be spending most of the day transferring files and programs from my computer to our server so that P can wipe the machine and install Win2K on it. I've been running with W98 for years now & it's time for a change. I agree that it needs to be done, but I hate doing this! All of these little add-on programs and plug-ins and I know I'll forget something....

Speaking of P -- I will be out of town on business from Wednesday (the 6th) through Monday (the 11th). I'm told that the place I'll be staying has *GASP!* no internet access! How will I ever survive?!? Of course, I will seek out internet access and update my blog if at all possible, but meanwhile, P has agreed to update it in my place while I'm gone. He has chosen the username DanglyBits, so that's one way you can tell his posts from mine. I am really interested in seeing what he has to write about!

I was pleasantly surprised last week to get an email from an old friend of mine. He & I were very good friends back in high school. In fact, we were lovers. I was his first. We dated each other and others until I met the man who would become my first husband, who put a stop to my poly-sexual activities (and not in a good way, either, but that's a story for another time). I had lost contact with my friend (B) over the intervening years but I had often thought about him and how I regretted the way our relationship had just faded away. No closure. So, the internet being the place it is, I sought him out. I found references to his mother online, along with an address, and sent her a letter (she & I had been friends, too) asking her to forward another letter to B, which she did. So now, B & I talk via email. We've both grown and matured -- he is also married, but I don't know if they're in an "open" relationship or not, as B & I have not gotten that far in our newly-reacquainted chats yet.

All of that serves as back-story for another flashback tale. One of the hottest sexual encounters I ever had was with B. I was 19 & he was 17 & we were at a friend's high school graduation party. Our friend let me borrow a bikini so B & I could lounge in the hot tub. So there we were, barely dressed, drinking beer, sitting in a hot tub on a June night. We got to snuggling, then to full-fledged making out and fondling. Soon, it was obvious that we needed to go elsewhere and deal with our horniness or we just might explode. We got out of the hot tub & got dressed, then said our good-byes to our hostess and company. Once in the car, I wriggled out of my panties & opened his pants & we stroked each other as we drove, trying to find some kind of "poontang pasture". On the way to B's house in the country was a little-used turn off from the road, which we pulled into. As soon as he shut off the engine, I hiked my short skirt up and climbed on top of him. I don't even know if I gave him the chance to slide the seat back away from the steering wheel! Sliding his eager cock into my rarin'-to-go pussy, I rode him like there was no tomorrow. We were both so hot for each other! We set that car to rockin' and steamed up the windows but good. He squeezed my ass as I slid up and down on him and we kissed passionately the whole time. Finally, we both cried out as we came and snuggled and giggled as the afterglow subsided and we returned to earth. I disengaged myself from him, found my panties and smoothed my skirt down while he re-arranged his pants, then we drove back to his place, which is where my car was. The next day, he told me that we had stained his pants....

Wow! After getting a mention on ErosBlog, I checked my server logs & see that I've now had over 332 hits just for today! I also see links to my blog from the Porn Stash (check it out! Some absolutely beautiful pictures!) and from Chapel Perilous.

In reference to this blog and some others in a similar vein (like DeeGee Girl and Blogasm), Bsti over at Chapel Perilous says:

Got me to wondering why I've been arguing with Vinny about homosexual marriages-partially because he and many others think it will lead to a demand for the inclusion of polyamorous marriages, further sullying the "good name" of the institution of "traditional" marriage.

Personally, I'm not against polyamorous marriages at all.

This put me in mind of something A said to me last night via IM. She said that P and I are monogamous because we are life partners but that we're poly-sexual. I'm not sure if that's splitting hairs or not, but I understand her point. P & I are completely dedicated to each other and are partners in the fullest sense of the word, but we like to "play" with our friends. We don't have a "polyamorous marriage" in the sense of a triangle or a V or a line marriage (or any of the other hundreleven varieties of polyamorous joinings).

OTOH, many people *would* classify what we have as a polyamorous or "open" marriage.

*shrug* I don't know. All I know is that my husband understands me; he understands that I'm a very highly-sexed woman and knows that by letting me be me, that I love him all the more and he reaps the benefits of that (oh boy, does he ever! *wink*). In return, I let him be him and it's all good!

OK, OK, enough of that! Back to the adventures, eh? :-)

Let's see, where was I? Oh, yes! The 7th night!

As I said before, P took the day off of work and we all dragged our asses out of bed fairly early and did some sight-seeing. After a relaxing day spent browsing through shops and taking pictures, we had dinner, then went home and put in the other porn movie H & W had brought with them, "Secrets of the Kama Sutra". (Nice costuming, if you're not too much of a pedant about region and era-appropriate clothing and makeup.) Well, it didn't take too long before H & W were necking on the couch & P & I were caressing each other on the floor. P went down on me (one of my very favorite things!) and I nibbled on H & W's legs a bit and fondled the bits that I could reach. Eventually, H & W ended up on the floor sort of next to us, W on all fours while H fucked her from behind, and while P still ate me out, I wiggled over so I could suck on W's very nice breasts and fondle H's cock & W's pussy while he slid in and out of her. She fondled my nipples a bit and then when P stopped the tongue ballet and put his cock in my pussy, she switched to tickling my clit with her fingers.

After H & P both came (nearly simultaneously!), P exclaimed, "Damn, that was hot!"

and it was! *grin*

Next time: the 8th (and final) night!

Just wanted to take a moment and give props to Bacchus over at ErosBlog! Thanks for linking to my site! *Hug*

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...
Later today, I hope to have another update in the continuing saga that I started a few days ago (and then got side-tracked), so stay tuned!

I am tweaking my template - was bored with the Standard one I got from blogger.com. Please bear with me if there are any weird formatting issues; I'm trying to correct them as quickly as possible. Thanks!

Today, Bacchus over at ErosBlog linked to an article which responded to Tristan Taormino's statements that blowjobs are a power exchange. One paragraph in the article leapt out at me:

I, for one, am rather sick of the idea put forth that sucking cock only feels good for the receiver, and is nothing but a favor or a hassle for the giver. If the idea of getting down on your knees and sucking your partner's cock is inherently humiliating to you, perhaps you should give pause and ask yourself if you feel the same sense of dread when in the middle of intercourse, because the two aren't that far apart in the sexual spectrum. If the answer is 'yes,' I might advise that you seek counseling or some sort of in-depth sex-therapy.

It reminded me of things....

A long time ago, I was nearly raped. A boy was driving me home from school one day & decided to take a "detour". We ended up near the town baseball fields - which were empty, it not being baseball season - and he stopped the car. He leaned over to kiss me (which was fine! He was a hoddie!) and we made out and petted some. He then took my head in his hands and tried to push me down to suck on his cock. I resisted and he just pushed more insistently. I said, "No, please." but he just laughed and tried to push me down again. I was scared 'cause he was stronger than I was and we were all alone. Just then, another car pulled into the park - I never did see who it was - so he stopped, we straightened out our clothes & he drove me home.

After that incident, while I could still freely give blowjobs, I couldn't handle having my head held while I did so - couldn't even handle a gentle caress on my face or shoulders; I'd freak out. Looking up at the receiver during the BJ was out of the question.

This lasted a loooooong time. I wasn't able to overcome this "freak out" until I met my husband, P. I had just gotten divorced from an emotionally abusive man (the abuse didn't help my hang-ups, in fact, it only added to them) and I was determined that P would not have to deal with any of my "baggage". I made a conscious decision that I would *not* be inhibited with P. Since that time, whenever a hang-up or other "emotional landmine" comes up, I try to look at it rationally rather than emotionally. I know that P loves me & would never intentionally hurt me.

That knowledge makes it easier to love P the way he deserves to be loved; to be free and open with him and know that he isn't secretly (or not so secretly) thinking bad things about me or judging me in any way.

As a result, now I can give him a blowjob with wild abandon and look him in the eyes and watch how he's enjoying himself and thus enjoy myself, too! In fact, sucking his cock has turned out to be one of my all-time favorite things to do!! :-)