TwiddlyBits' Sex Blog

AFF (yes, I'm giving it another chance) is being bitchy this week. It won't let me view profiles - well, it won't let me view *most* profiles. It seems to let me randomly view some profiles, but not others. I can't see any logic to it. If I click on a profile, I get the "upgrade now!" screen with no explanation or error message.

Is there some limit to the number of profiles I can view with a free account? If yes, is this a new thing? I used to be able to view all the profiles I wanted to, it was just the pictures I couldn't see. (plus, I was limited to 1 email per 24 hour period)

Frustrating.

I have had a few more email inquiries, but I can't view the profiles. If you've sent me an email or a wink or something & I haven't replied, it's possible that I just can't reach you. Put your email addy into the message & I'll be able to reply.

Side notes:
• mnhtgrabber - please give me a valid email addy. The message I sent to you bounced. :-(
• Bill - I'd like to contact you, but need an email addy.

I can't believe it's been over a week since I last blogged here. I've been reading (& commenting on) other blogs, but haven't posted anything here in a good while. It's not that Dangly & I have been idle, just that we've been busy IRL and I haven't been really inspired to write anything.

Today while driving to work, I thought about vanilla. Ice cream, that is. Waffle cones, soft serve or hard pack.

You see, the first time I go to a new ice cream parlor, I always order vanilla. I have found that it's a reliable indicator of the quality of the rest of their offerings. If a parlor does vanilla well, then their other flavors are probably fine, too. If their vanilla sucks, I don't go back. If their vanilla is heavenly, then I will "make the rounds" through their other flavors, secure in the knowledge that it's gonna be goooood.

But, vanilla always has been, and likely always will be, my favorite. I love it! I love it plain or dressed up with mix-ins, sprinkles or other toppings.

I'm not into BDSM, but it seems that "vanilla" is a term used in that community to mean non-"kinky" sex - sex that doesn't involve BDSM of some description. I think its use comes from the fact that many (most?) people consider vanilla to be "boring", without flavor, bland.

Personally, I'm a vanilla kind of girl. I find that vanilla can have all kinds of subtlety and nuance that sometimes can be hard to discern in the more powerful flavors.

And so it is with sex. If a partner can do vanilla sex well, then that's a reliable indicator that any variations on that theme will probably be good, too. If their vanilla sucks, well then, perhaps we're not really suited as partners after all. I *like* "vanilla sex" - even though I like to spice things up with multiple partners and a modicum of kinkitude, I find that plain old vanilla is still my all-time favorite. I come back to it each and every time, happy to be home.

Dangly & I rarely have quickies.

We like to take our time making love. We spend enormous amounts of time just cuddling, caressing, kissing, and snuggling before, during, and after any actual genital-directed activity.

I have never had a lover more devoted to tending the emotional intimacy between us than Dangly. Whether that's a by-product of his transgenderism, or vice versa, I'm not sure. I also don't think it's necessarily important to know *why* he's like this; the important thing is that this is the way he *is* & it's one of the many things I love about my husband.

So, Thursday night, I came home from work & ate dinner. After snuggling with Dangly a little bit and catching up on my email, I headed off into the bedroom to prepare for sleep. We were both pretty tired & I didn't think we'd have the energy for play.

I took off my shirt, pants & socks & laid face-down on the bed in my bra & panties, arching my back in order to wave my ass in the air to tease & tantalize Dangly. Encouraged, he cupped my ass in his hands and started smothering it with kisses, caressing it and burying his face in it.

Suddenly, he climbed onto the bed, putting his knees on either side of mine. I felt the silky smooth, rock hard presence of his cock against my cunt as he pushed into me. Not quite lubricated enough, I winced a little at first until he pulled almost all the way out again, drawing my juices out to ease his passage. He thrust back into me and I pushed back against him, his delicious shaft rubbing against my g-spot and carrying me to orgasm. His pace quickened; I moaned with pleasure, gripping the bed covers in my fists.

Finally, his whole body convulsed and I felt the throbbing of his shaft against my clutching pussy. He collapsed on top of me. We both started giggling when I asked, "Are you ok?" He assured me that he was, indeed, *quite* well, kissed my back & apologized for having finished so quickly.

A glance at the clock confirmed that the entire episode had lasted less than a minute!

How did I feel about this? I felt GREAT! I was treated to two or three small orgasms - which are nothing to sneeze at! - and got to experience the raw, animal passion of my husband. What's not to like?

Oh, if this was de rigeur for us, I'd get bored with it quickly. That's what happened with my first marriage - nothing but "get his rocks off sex" with little or no regard for my satisfaction, or even comfort. No woman can be expected to feel desire in that situation.

But, quickies for Dangly & me are *not* SOP; this is *not* how we regularly have sex. So, as a lark, as a one-off, as a fun diversion, as a break from our usual, languorous love-making session, quickies are good.

Do other women agree with me? Are you all anti-quickie? or do you find yourself more willing to accept and/or enjoy quickies if you're fed a regular diet of super sex, too?

Men? What about you?

I look forward to reading your comments.

I mentioned in a comment that my Fall schedule has finally hit full stride, so I am busy, busy, BUSY!

This is a Good Thing. "busy, busy, BUSY!" = $$$

I had to re-do my entire weekly schedule yesterday to make sure that I allowed enough time for practice & prep for all the stuff I'll be doing this fall. As a result, it turns out that I get to shower with DanglyBits every day!! YAY!

Dangly & I have known each other for 3 years now & ever since we first tried it, we have showered together at every opportunity. It's a special time for us; a time when we can show affection in a different way from what we can do either fully clothed and/or in public. We feel that our shower time builds intimacy between us, relaxes us, & helps to keep our relationship fresh and exciting.

So, you say, what's the big deal? You get clean together; so what?

Well, based upon my previous experiences with showering with men - which were few and far between; my first husband was of the "a shower is for getting clean. period." persuasion - I'd have to agree with you. BUT, showering with Dangly is SO much more than "just getting clean"!! Let me explain:

Dangly starts the water running for the shower, then holds the curtain for me to get into the tub/stall, then he gets in himself. As I wet down my hair, he portions out an appropriate amount of shampoo into his hand. I step forward out of the flow of the warm relaxing water & lean my forehead on his chest (I am 5' 7"; he is 6' 1".) and he washes my hair. He takes care to massage my scalp in a most relaxing way. Finally, he indicates that I can rinse my hair. While I rinse, he puts on the bath gloves and soaps them up.

I close my eyes; he very carefully washes my face and neck, being sure to get behind my ears. I rinse, then he washes my breasts, lightly teasing my nipples with the scratchy goodness of the bath gloves, then my belly, my hips and my sides. I put my arms on his shoulders and he washes each one in turn, paying special attention to my elbows.

I turn around so my back is to him. He massages my shoulders and back with the soapy gloves, taking time to fondle and otherwise worship my ass with lots of soapy, sudsy, slippery caresses. He crouches and I spread my legs allowing him access to wash me from my hips to my feet, giggling as he tickles my soles and my toes.

When he's done with my feet, I again turn around so I am facing him. He removes the gloves & puts more soap on his hands. I put one foot up on the safety rail. He takes a step forward and slips one hand to my pussy while the other hand slides around my hips to my backside. He twiddles his soapy fingers in, on & around my bijou, being sure to clean every nook and cranny, until I am shuddering with orgasm after orgasm. His other hand has not been idle. He slides one slippery finger into my asshole and in conjunction with his first hand sends me climbing to ever-higher heights of orgasmic bliss until I slump into his arms & he must steady me to keep me from falling.

He holds me and whispers in my ear that he loves me. I moan, incoherent, until I am able to stand by my own power again.

I take the shower massager head from the wall & he helps me rinse my twiddly bits, which usually results in one or two more small orgasms.

Then, it's his turn.

The basic washing follows the same pattern as above - chest, arms, back, legs - and I take time to caress and fondle him as much as possible. After washing his feet, he turns around and I remove the gloves & squeeze their soap onto his cock and balls. I rub the suds into his hair, cupping his balls in one hand and gripping his swelling shaft with the other. I slide my hand to the head of his cock and then back again, holding the foreskin back so that his glans is exposed and I can rub my soapy fingers and palm around its crown. As his cock grows, it becomes easier and easier to wash - less wrinkles! - and he moans with pleasure and leans against the shower wall, sometimes twitching as I touch a more sensitive spot. Back and forth I rub my hands over and around and under his cock and balls, being sure that every bit of it is clean. Finally he rinses - but has he gotten all the soap off? Only one way to tell! I take his cock into my mouth for a "soap check"; I must be 100% certain that everything is soap-free before we can get out of the shower.

(I am a pampered princess, aren't I? I love every minute of it!)

While we enjoy our shower time together very much, it's not eligible for Bunny Money. Oh, wait! I haven't told you about Bunny Money yet, have I? I'll have to get right on that.... *smile*

***

In other news:
• I am getting ready to do a BlogRoll Purge. If a site in my BlogRoll hasn't been updated for a month or more, I will remove it. I hope to be able to do that either tomorrow or Friday.
• I've closed the voting on the "TwiddlyBits' Toy Box Poll". The results are in! I'll be creating the page as soon as I can. Thanks to all who voted!

[NOTE: updated on Wed., Oct 15, 2003 to remove the "trademark" character because it prevents the page from validating as HTML 4.0 Transitional.]

Today, Dangly & I had lunch with X. You'll recall that X is the man I contacted via AFF. His was one of 131 emails I received & had to wade through. His email to me was thoughtful & polite and his picture was pensive and compelling, so I contacted him.

Anyway, we had a very pleasant lunch. X is just as charming in person as he is via email or chat. He is a bit more "ethnic-looking" IRL than in his picture, but that is not a problem for either me or Dangly - we're much more interested in someone's personality than in their looks. This is not to say that X isn't handsome - he is! He's also got an infectious smile that makes his eyes seem to light up.

(In fact, after lunch, Dangly commented that it would have been a turn on to see the contrast of X's brown hands on my white skin.)

Our conversation over lunch ranged from what we do for our jobs, what we do in our spare time, where we've travelled in the world, a little about our parents, etc., etc., before finally cutting to the chase.

Everything was going well - we all got along famously & were just about to schedule another meeting when I asked the fateful question:

I noticed in your AFF profile under "Marital Status" it says "No Response".
Are you married?

He answered in the affirmative, so I asked if his wife knew he was doing this, to which he replied "No."

... No.

*sigh* I could kick myself for not asking him sooner. Even though we all knew that today was just a "test the chemistry" meeting with no obligations or promises, it wasn't fair of me to get his hopes up when the answer to such a simple question was so important. I feel like I wasted his time.

He seemed disappointed, but understanding. I appreciate the fact that he was honest with us about this. We are disappointed, too, since it seemed like we were going to be a good match.

But what else could I do?

My personal convictions - my "morals", if you will - require that I treat other people the way I wish to be treated. I cannot in good conscience enter into a relationship with someone who is cheating on their partner. I cannot contribute to someone having to live a lie. Like it or not, his wife would have been involved in our relationship, but without her consent, which is the important bit. Unless she entered into our relationship of her own free will, I cannot participate.

I think I'm going to have to update my AFF profile.

*sigh*

postscript: Re-reading the above before publishing, I'm afraid that I may sound "holier-than-thou", but it shouldn't be taken that way. I am not without sin myself; I have cheated before, on a past boyfriend back in the summer of 1988. I remember how it made me feel to live a lie & I remember the repercussions when my boyfriend finally found out. I wouldn't wish that on anybody - either to be the cheater or the one cheated on - so I resolved to never do it again. I guess it's a testament to my maturity that I was able to stick to my guns. I may be a "very horny woman", but I like to think that I engage my brain before my bijou.

footnote: I'm posting this from work and so can't put in links. I'll update with links later tonight & stick a note on that I've done so.

[UPDATE:] I put the link in pointing to the prior post. I also want to point out that Married But Lonely has two posts concerning this subject.

OK, here it is, the post I've been meaning to write for a month now. Of course, now I worry that it won't live up to the antici-

Say it!

pation, but here goes anyway.

For Labor Day weekend, Dangly & I went to go visit our good friends A & S. I told you about our first night there.

The next morning, we all piled into the 4WD Subaru wagon and A & S took us to some clothing-optional hot springs. We needed the 4WD because the trip included 20 miles on "unimproved road" - that 20 miles taking up approx 2 hours. A is an excellent driver and she kept the car not only on the road, but didn't bounce us around any more than necessary, either. Eventually, we pulled over at the wide part of the road and parked. We then had to hike a half mile and ford a river. There is a bridge, but you have to hike 3 miles out of your way to get to it, so we decided just to wade through the water.

That's BRISK, baby!

It was a cool mountain stream, crystal clear & not too deep this time of year. I'm told that it gets colder with snow melt in the spring and can be quite a bit higher and faster (making the bridge not unattractive, I suppose).

On the other side of the river, we continued to hike toward the caretakers' cabin, where we checked in & heard the ground rules. The hot springs are privately owned & they only let 20 people in per day. (S had made reservations for us.) We followed the path up to the springs themselves and chucked our clothes in the cabana before settling into the oh so warm and luxurious water.

The springs have been developed only to the point of making rock pools in which visitors can lounge. Whoever did it did an excellent job because it looks really natural.

Next to the hot springs is a small, cold stream, also with a small rock pool. Both A & I went dipping in the cold water - the better to appreciate the hot spring! ;-)

Anyway, when we got there, there was a nude couple probably in their mid-40s with whom we relaxed & chatted. They seemed like really nice people.

There were also some college-age kids there, including one girl who perched in the uppermost pool in a most regal manner. These kids kept their bathing suits on the entire time. Some of the guys were cute, others weren't, but at least they weren't obnoxious. They didn't chat much with us - maybe we were too old?

Another young man (mid-20s?) joined the group after the couple left. He came up to the pool and put his hands on his swim trunks as if he was going to take them off, but then he saw the college kids with their clothes on & decided to keep his on. Too bad - he was really cute and had "good vibes".

A, S, Dangly & I got out of the hot springs and went over to a big flat rock by the river - the beautiful waterfall! - where we had lunch. It was so wonderful to feel the wind kissing our skin and see the water flow by.

After lunch, we headed back to the springs. The college kids had left by this time, leaving just the 4 of us and the mid-20s guy.

A & S went up into the cave portion of the springs, to the upper pool where the girl had held court previously, while Dangly & I and mid-20s guy lounged in the bottom pool. Mid-20s guy was situated such that he couldn't see A & S, but Dangly & I could. A & S started kissing and cuddling - casting amused glances down to where I was watching them with a big grin on my face - and finally A climbed onto S' lap. I watched as she ground her hips into his, riding his delicious cock while he held onto her and kissed and nibbled her ample bosom.

I rolled over onto my stomach so that I could breathe into Dangly's ear while still watching the show. Dangly slid one hand under me and began to finger my clit while asking me if I was enjoying watching them. I said yes I was and that if the mid-20s guy hadn't been *right there*, I'd've climbed onto Dangly's eager cock, too.

It doesn't take much to get me to orgasm & I shuddered several times while watching A & S and being twiddled by Dangly, all right under mid-20s guy's nose.

Of course, I have no real idea if he was aware of it or not, but he made no indication that he was.

Finally, A & S finished & returned to our pool. S' cock doesn't deflate right away after his orgasm, so he was still at half-mast which made me giggle. He put his hands on his hips (which had the effect of pointing his cock in my general direction) and said, "Are you laughing at me?" I assured him that I was, indeed, laughing at him and blew him a kiss.

By this time, it was getting late and we had a long drive back, so A, S & Dangly went to the cabana to get dressed. The cabana isn't so big, so I tarried a bit, making eyes at mid-20s guy. I eventually climbed out of the pool, making sure to give him a good view of my ass as I did it. I then walked over to the clearing by the cabana, still in full view of the pool where he was lying. I then stretched and brushed all the water off of my body in a slow, langurous, sensual way, being sure to caress my body as I did it, bending over from the waist to do my legs. As I caressed my left arm, I cast a glance back over my shoulder and saw him watching me. I smiled and continued what I was doing.

Eventually, I was dry and went into the cabana to get dressed. I had worn my tanga panties that day & so made sure to position myself in the "doorway" of the cabana so mid-20s guy could get an eyeful of them when I put them on. While I was doing that, S expressed his appreciation of them, so I wiggled my ass in his face a little, too. LOL!

Once we were all dressed, I made sure to smile & wave good-bye to mid-20s guy who grinned back at me most delightfully. We headed down the trail to the caretakers' cabin and took our leave. When we got back to the river, S & Dangly had a mini pissing contest in which they were trying to find a way across the river without getting wet. While they were both trying to impress each other with their rock-hopping abilities, I found a closer, easier way across & made it to the other side first, high & dry. A decided to ford the river again as she wasn't comfortable jumping from rock to rock. We all piled back into the car and headed home.

I've already told you what happened after we got home....

[UPDATE] During the drive home, A & I both agreed if mid-20s guy had chucked his pants, he might have been a possible play partner. He was throwing off all the right vibes, but just didn't go that extra step.

Yesterday, I commented that, out of the 131 emails I received, "There is one such suitor with whom I have entered negotiations to meet."

Well, after I got home from work last night, X & I chatted via the AFF IM interface. Dangly was here with me, working on his own computer. X seems like a really nice guy. He's my age, lives not too far away and works near to where Dangly works. The pic he sent me was of him fully clothed and in a pensive pose, yet with an impish grin. I found the photo oddly compelling & decided that I wanted to pursue contact.

Earlier in the day, before we chatted, we exchanged a few emails and he expressed surprise at my initial reply to him. He said:

I don't recall ever receiving such a detailed reply...but I like it.

I didn't think I had written a novel or anything, but I did want to tell him a bit about what I'm looking for. I told him:

I'm not looking for a "fuckbuddy" with no emotional attachment. I'm also not looking for a soulmate - my husband is my soulmate & we are very devoted to each other. But, I like there to be at least *some* level of affection between myself and my lover - enough so that we can laugh and giggle and carry on intelligent conversations both before and after any "playing" we might do. I guess I am looking for a "friend with benefits".

That's pretty good, isn't it? I think I'll go add that to my AFF profile.

During our chat, he said that he's definitely not looking for a one night stand - which is great; neither am I. He seemed a bit surprised that I wanted to just have a normal chat session and didn't want to "cyber".

What kind of experiences do guys have with the AFF chat?!?

We talked a bit about our work and our outside interests and, of course, also some talk of sexual interest and fantasies. Finally, Dangly & I made arrangements to meet him for lunch this coming Tuesday. I'm really looking forward to it!

Oh, one other thing: When I mentioned that I had had 131 emails in my AFF Inbox, he asked me how in the world could I sort through all of those to eliminate the losers?? *chuckle* I told him that first I eliminated those who sent no words with their response (ie. a blank email), then those who included such witty repartée as "Wanna fuck?", then those who wrote me Russian Lit length novels, and then those who included nothing but "body part" pictures.

Next to the chopping block were those who are looking to cheat on their spouse/SO. I will have no part of any relationship that's founded on deception. I don't mind playing with married/involved people, but the other person involved must either know about it or approve in concept to such behavior. I'm no home-wrecker.

Finally, I evaluated those who were left. I decided to cut those who expressed either no interest or a (sometimes quite emphatic) negative interest to playing with couples. While I'm not necessarily looking for a bi guy, I also don't want someone who's so homo-phobic that they can't stand the thought of Dangly participating, too.

Those who were left were put into a "Possibilities" folder. Perusing that folder yesterday, I decided to write to X. We'll see what comes of that.

More details as they become available...

Welcome to all of you who are here via my profile on Adult Friend Finder.

Yes, I posted a profile there because I was curious what would turn up. I used one of the Mediterranean Costume pictures from my gallery page, which I think might have made a difference in the quality type of replies I got.

I admit to not realizing that AFF had its own Inbox. I thought that it would send emails to the address I used to create my profile. I thought that nobody was interested enough to write to me. Imagine my surprise when I found my Inbox and it had 131 messages! LOL!

I got some very interesting responses, many from guys who sound very nice. I also got some "here's my cock - ain't it great?" emails and pictures. *sigh* Don't get me wrong - anybody who's read anything in this blog knows that I LOVE cock. But you know what? I like cocks better when they're attached to people.

I've just got the standard free membership, which only allows me to send one email reply through their system per 24 hour period, so if you wrote to me & haven't heard from me, it doesn't necessarily mean that I've Baleeted! your email (although I might have for a variety of reasons) - your email could have been moved to my "Possibilities" folder where it is awaiting my loving attentions even now.

Meanwhile, take this opportunity to browse through my archives & get to know me a little better. You may decide that you don't want to meet me after all, or you may decide $Deity! I must meet her right now!, whatever.

ps. I had jury duty for the past couple of days & so have to catch up on some things in my Private Life today. I reallyreallyREALLY hope to get that clothing-optional Labor Day post up like I've been promising to do for a month now! :-(